Divine Relatedness – Part 5

In the first 4 installments of this 5-part series, we’ve looked at the concepts of divine relatedness with God, ourselves and others, the foundations of what makes relationships work (i.e. God’s ways) and how to bring our authentic selves to the task. Now, let’s finish by jumping into the act of relating itself.

Are you ready?

Teachings, philosophies, and observations are worthless unless the lessons within them are applied. You have to get your feet wet. Once you’ve provided true love for yourself, it will be time to step into the ring. If you’ve been following along with us for the last 8 months (beginning with How The Devil Stole Your Soul) and performed the work presented, you are more than adequately equipped. You won’t make poor choices out of desperation, e.g. trying to find someone to ‘complete’ you, because you will already be whole.

Your love will attract your right partner. When they show up, commit to the relationship so that you can stop the frantic search for ‘The One.’

As you begin to relate, see yourself in him or her at all times. This will continually strengthen your compassion and help nurture a commitment for their well being, which in turn will trigger a like response from them. If you do your best to walk in your partner’s shoes, you will see how their past has molded them and be able to support him or her in moving past their ‘old selves.’

Compassion helps relieve your partner’s pain, which in turn creates greater happiness and peace within the relationship. (Note: compassion is not the same as ‘pity.’ Pity confers a one-upmanship upon the one who pities – making them the ‘helper’ and the object of their pity becomes the ‘helpless.’ Pity finds its roots in self-centeredness.)

Demonstrate that compassion without trying to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ them. Know that when your partner suffers, you will suffer. Ask them what it is that they need. Often times they’ll have trouble articulating it because of some internal judgment. Help them clarify those needs.

Every time you see your partner, look at them as if you’re meeting them for the first time – forgetting anything that might have been unconsciously acted out without love, before that moment. Re-connect at every new encounter, reviving those feelings and visions that you had when you first felt your love for them.

Embrace them every single time they enter your presence with no consideration over whether or not they will return it. It is your gift of love. Conversely, when they embrace you, don’t waste your time trying to think of the ‘proper’ way of responding. Just be present to their love instead of patting them on the back or rocking back and forth to relieve your awkwardness.

It is in your receiving of their love that sends it back to them. In that moment, breathe deeply and remind yourself, ‘My love is in my arms. How precious they are and how blessed I am.’ Feel the love flowing in you and out of you. Your ‘lovemaking’ (in and out of the bedroom, physical and non-physical) will become a place of utmost joy, safety and support as you both learn to nurture each other without urgency or critique.

See your partner as the gift that they are to you and let them know it! Tell them how much they have positively impacted your life. Realize your relationship is perfect in that moment. It doesn’t mean that there isn’t room for growth (not the same as ‘improvement’ – inferring that your relationship is flawed, which robs you and your partner of the full happiness available in that moment.)

Even the best relationships have ‘blips.’

Relating is a human process and like anything of human origin, it can and will be blown off course from time to time. Because we cannot know 100% of what is going on in the head of our partner, we will inadvertently offend them at times. It is essential that you place your focus on correcting that blip instead of creating a situation where you and your partner fly to opposite corners of a ‘boxing ring’ to defend yourselves.

Timing is everything. ‘Loving correction’ needs to be implemented ASAP in order to acknowledge anger and or hurt to defuse it expeditiously, so as not to give ground for resentment. Still, you must look to see when your offended partner is ready and able to hear what you need to express (i.e. loving communication).

Most of the time, their anger is rooted in some unresolved issue in their past and the pain they’ve associated with it, which you have triggered by your action. Therefore, this conflict can be an opportunity to shed light upon their unconscious ball and chain.

Keep your attitude grounded in love, remembering the impermanence of all things and just how precious this person is in front of you. Treasure the finite time you have with them. Take a deep breath and feel the love you have for them and the love that you’ve received. Help them look at what they are afraid of seeing in themselves, as well assisting them with taking ownership of it. Apply compassion.

Examine yourself. Are your actions pushing your partner’s hot buttons? If so, begin doing the opposite. (Don’t punish yourself with judgment; just make the adjustments.) If you are the offended party, ask yourself if you’re feeling judged. Look to see if you have an unresolved issue that propagates your feelings. Then, determine whether or not you are projecting your self-judgment onto them. If so, bring that issue to a meditative focus.

Listen to your partner without assuming that you know everything about them. Open yourself up to receiving new wisdom. Make space within the relationship for both sets of opinions. Don’t try to mold your partner into a reflection of you. It’s the diversity that brings synergistic strength to relationship.

If your partner is suffering, allow them the full expression of it without adding your own suffering to the mix as well. Just be there for them. Most of the time, if they send some of their suffering your way, it is not personal. They are moving through a hurt and indulging in an unconscious form of retribution. You just happened to be a convenient target in close proximity. Come together to find better ways for them to make that journey and apply forgiveness.

Don’t insist on your partner’s forgiveness. What is important is that you forgive them and yourself.

Build a mutually agreed upon method for reconciliation.

Be open to receiving critiques from your partner regarding your actions, without throwing up walls of defense. Look to see if there is any truth in them and accept them as acts of love from your partner to try to help you grow. It’s an opportunity for you to better understand yourself.

Relating has a certain degree of difficulty because it taps into the relationship that you have with yourself. That’s why it’s so important you clean that up. Often your partner will mirror back to you things that you deny about yourself. That’s good, because it’s better to resolve them in this relationship rather than kicking the can down the road to suffer again within yet another.

Sometimes, a relationship is not meant to be life-long. Instead, it was intended to be a vehicle for bringing your consciousness to the next level. If so, you needn’t suffer because you still get to keep the love that was generated in that relationship within your heart.

Don’t obsess over whether on not your partner will leave you. It takes away the freedom to be present with them. God is loving you through them now. Receive it. If you love yourself and love God, you will be happy, whole and complete with or without your partner.

If the vision that you and your partner had for your relationship becomes irreparably divergent, give yourselves the space to disconnect in peace and love – without rejecting yourself.

Every relationship has been perfect because each one (if you’re willing to learn from it) will bring you to a place of higher consciousness (greater godliness). If you stay committed to your growth, the next partner that your heart attracts will show up living on the same higher plane of consciousness that you’ve grown into…

Men and Women

The last aspect to examine regarding divine relatedness is the gender-driven differences that are brought to the table.

God created the sexes in order to enhance one another. (Gn. 2:18) Man and woman compliment each other – equal but not the same. The diversity of the differences between them adds value and potential for growth. Thus, we need to understand those variations so that we can work with them rather than be threatened by them.

For example, women are more intuitive – better at listening to their hearts. Conversely, men give more credence to the logic of their mind (and we’ve see what a mess that can get us into.) Therefore, it behooves a man to ask his mate for her ‘gut feeling’ on a matter so that they can make decisions that incorporates the entire picture.

Men and women share the same emotions, but women wear them on their sleeve, which facilitates a much better expression of them. Indeed, it is vital that they do so as they often cogitate through that same expression – many times by vocalizing them. (My female editor suggested the term ‘outward processors.’ See how this works?)

Women want to be seen and heard by their male partners while they process their dilemmas but they don’t necessarily want the man to fix their challenges.

Men are not generally emotive. Instead, they keep a lid on their emotions (a lot of this is learned behavior) and withdraw into themselves to analyze their problems. It does not mean they do not feel. They are problem-solvers and want to ‘fix’ things because it makes sense to their logical mindset.

When a woman begins a conversation with a man, she is better served by getting straight to the point. If he realizes that she doesn’t want a ‘fix,’ he’ll tune her out. However, if she makes it clear at the outset that she doesn’t need a fixing, he can listen from a different place. He will still process what he hears in his male fashion, so his answer may not be immediate. He needs to withdraw into his head to work through what he has heard.

Women learn early on that men cannot stand in the face of extreme emotion, and some use that knowledge to dominate them. If that domination process includes negative criticism (as it often does), she will emasculate him. This produces bitterness, as he perceives what he thinks are efforts to downgrade and control him, so he tries to create distance. She gets resentful as well because she thinks he’s avoiding her. In reality, he’s running off frantically trying to find ways to do things in the hopes of earning restored love, approval and peace.

Women are never going to stop being emotionally expressive, and a man needs to understand that. However, the expression of them and making her mate a target of them are not the same. Both partners need to address situations, not the essence of one another.

The sexes differ in communicative strategies as well. Men (the least complex) say what they mean and prefer a direct response. Women tend to ruminate over what is said as they filter the words through their emotions.

Loving communication is everything. Save your (both sexes) bitching and complaining for your friends. Home is reserved for love. Before one engages in fisticuffs with their spouse, they need to stop and consider if this situation is worth fighting about – worth making it your ‘last stand.’ If one makes the choice for battle, there ought to be a mutual agreement first for how the resolution of should look. What must follow is forgiveness and permanent amnesia…

Synergism that strengthens relationship is created when both partners learn about each other’s approach to life, appreciate what comes natural to each partner and amalgamate those ways into a new strategy that satisfies the desires of them both.

Men need to be breadwinners and champions, and need to be supported in that role. Women (as well as men) need nurturing, but they need to tell the man what that looks like. Men never read minds. When you tell them what you want and how you want it, they are only too happy to comply.

Both partners need to feel that their physical appearance breeds desire from their mate. So, each must be mindful of their exterior out of respect for one another. Attraction leads to desire. Romance is a two-sided affair, and everyone likes to be seduced.

If a woman wants to know how a man feels, she must create a safe space for him to express those feelings without the fear of being criticized. Repeated criticism is an antithesis to love…

Ultimately

Finally, lather love lavishly over each other at all times – putting your partner’s well being above anybody else’s. A successful relationship is one where both of you make the choice for love every day, committing to be with each other, and respecting and edifying one another.

Yes, relationships are a lot of work; but ah the rewards…
Goodnight and God bless.

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March 19 2016 | experiencing god's love | No Comments »

Divine Relatedness – Part 4

The first 3 parts of this series have been concerned with a conceptual look at how we were born to be related to God, ourselves and to each other. We also examined some of the foundations for being related the way God envisioned for all of us – to have relationships that work. Now, let’s look at how we can bring our authentic selves to relationships and contribute to them as well.

RELATIONSHIP TRAINING

1. Stay present, dropping the past so that your wounded child within doesn’t drive your adult relationships. Your past was only an outcome, not a mistake. Look at others with fresh eyes and treat them the way that you want to be treated, i.e. love and forgive – repeatedly. (Mt. 7:12 & 18:22.)

2. Drop all guilt and shame. You will make mistakes. Acknowledge them, take responsibility for them and do as much damage control as you can. Let go of your judgments – especially those that bring shame. Confess them so that you don’t ever have to worry about being ‘found out’ again. (James 5:16; 1 Jn. 1:9.)

3. Never stop questioning your thoughts. Nothing works better than the truth. (Zech. 8:16; 1 Cor. 4 – 6.)

4. See the differences between you and your partner as ‘building blocks’ for a relationship that transcends your singular contributions. Neither try to change the essence of who you are nor that of your significant other. You were both made in the image of God. (Gn. 1:27)

5. Give up the need for anyone else’s approval. Free yourself from the opinions of others. Live from God’s point of view and everything in your life will be superlative. (Ps. 37:4 – 6; Pr. 3:5, 6; 16:2, 3 & 9.)

6. Make healthy choices. Don’t choose people who like to dance with you in your old dramas – those who present a repeat role model for an incomplete relationship you had in the past. Dismantle your old unworkable choice-making strategies and follow your heart.

7. You are responsible for bringing 100% of your happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment to the relationship. Your partner is not there to do that for you. Share with your partner how you like to be loved but accept that the way they love you is their best way of doing it; and that needs to be okay if you want this person in your life. That way, they don’t have to ‘get it right,’ and neither do you.

8. Steer clear of people who are aloof, perfectionists, controlling, judgmental, defensive or dishonest. (Big hint: Never look for a partner when you are feeling lonely. You will have a tendency to settle for less.) Choose good character above all else – someone who is truthful, willing to be vulnerable, responsible for themselves, willing to show and share intimacy, honest, giving, forgiving, disposed to changing unworkable behaviors and actively committed to staying conscious. In short, seek out someone who is the person you are aspiring to be.

9. Drop any form of dependency. You really don’t need anyone. All relationships (with the exception of the one you have with God) are temporary. All people will leave you for one reason or another. They die; the kids get married, etc. Realize the gift of the relationship while you’re having it! Afterwards, it will live in your heart forever. If you come from a position of ‘need,’ you can never be present with that gift because you are always preoccupied with the potential loss of it. Dependency comes from a desire to control the uncontrollable. Decide instead to have a good life, regardless of who or what passes in or out of it – embracing the lessons of love that was gifted to you in that passing.

10. Your relationships will reflect your present state of awareness, and each holds an opportunity for spiritual growth and increased compassion, both of which eases the suffering of all the people on the planet. Love exists in the moments of your journey when you reconnect with your true self – learning to love others and yourself as we are, not as you think we ‘should’ be.

Are you ready to relate?

To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.

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March 10 2016 | experiencing god's love | No Comments »

Divine Relatedness – Part 3

Healthy relationships have healthy boundaries – solid lines that establish who we are and who are partner is. Our boundaries do not constitute barriers to keep people at bay. Instead, they represent the walls of our sacred temple, wherein we grow and nurture love, compassion and mercy for ourselves so that we can project them outward as well. They are a source of strength to draw from, for making virtuous choices.

These solid lines keep us accountable, letting us know when we’ve crossed them or have allowed others to do the same. Define them to others: ‘This is who I am and who I am not. This is my vision for my life and my well being. I will express my freedom to make healthy choices, and one of those is when I choose to say no.’

See if your new partner is willing to support your framework. If not, thank them for who they are and bid them a fond farewell.

Ironically, when you can say ‘no’ in an unchallenged atmosphere, you can finally embrace your vulnerability and let your guard down.* Stand for your ‘no’ as well as respect a ‘no’ when you hear it from others – without taking it as a condemnation.

*(However, be willing to challenge your views to see if there is room for healthy compromise. The answer to that is in your heart.)

If your healthy boundary is challenged, respond with, ‘I love you, but I’m not going to take that, do this, etc.’ Seek out relationships with those who will honor your solid lines. Don’t be afraid to say, ‘That’s enough!’ But then, you must respond with a consequence – take something away from them until you see the desired behavior manifest; otherwise, your boundaries mean nothing. You need to change the way you relate with your partner. If they will not desist in violating your boundaries, you need to leave. You cannot rescue anyone from him or herself; they have to want to do it.

(Don’t forget however to always examine your own motives, making sure you aren’t the problem. Most of the time people have problems with a partner, it’s not the partner, it’s they way they’re relating to them.)

Having healthy boundaries allow you to act without malice. You are only honoring your agreements. Solid lines help build relationships where confrontation is only a difference of opinion, not a high-pitched battle. They open a space within where feelings can be acknowledged without shaming the person feeling them. Finally, they create a ‘reality’ about our relationships because both participants know just what is so.

Realize though that you can never fully understand the true nature of another person’s thoughts. That’s why the only one who completely understands you is you. Others can only offer partial understanding. Knowing that, you can take the pressure off of each other within the relationship. If you want more understanding, there will have to be more dialogue.

What do we do when our ‘old humanity’ shows up – when we want to snap our partner’s head off over something they’ve done that we have judged to be wrong?

We return to our meditative breath until we feel we have a sense of self-control, not giving into knee-jerk reactions, as we remind ourselves what it is that we love about that person in front of us, and then take a moment to feel that love. Then we can calmly inform our partner about how we felt hurt / offended by their actions (not by who they are). From that place, a conversation is possible where everyone can take full responsibility for their actions and then co-create a mutually satisfying solution.

Now, let’s step back and ask ourselves what it is that we want out of being related. Isn’t it love?

Love is the highest form of relatedness – an expression of God Himself. Love transcends Hollywood and eclipses feelings. Feelings come and go. Love is not dependent upon some internal disposition. Love abides even when your feelings waiver (which they do several times per day).

If you want a loving relationship, bring your love. That’s the only part you’re responsible for. It’s up to your partner to bring theirs. Also bring your acceptance, telling your partner that he or she is perfect just the way they are. If your partner does the same, you’ll both be free from the exhaustion associated from trying to fashion and wear a mask to hide flaws that neither of you have.

When you consider a potential partner, say to yourself, ‘This is who they present themselves to be. Do they appear to be a good fit for me? Can I adjust my expectations and live with their eccentricities? Can I honor and respect them? Are they willing to meet my expectations? Can they? Can I be content with those that they are able to meet? Am I willing to provide for myself those wants and needs they cannot? Do I have a willingness to meet theirs?’

I would say that all of these questions must be answered with a resounding ‘yes’ in order to have a relationship that works.

If you cannot visualize a relationship with them, love them for who they are, be grateful for what they’ve brought to your life, and wish them a love-filled life elsewhere.

Relatedness is something that all of us are already engaged in. That’s why the hot pursuit of people trying to get related is so ironic. If we could just relax and see what we can offer ourselves and what the people we already have in our life could contribute, we could find ourselves in a mutually constructed loving relationship where happiness wasn’t that elusive after all…

Okay, we’ve got the concepts / truths. Now, let’s get the training.

Next time.
Goodnight and God bless.

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March 05 2016 | experiencing god's love | No Comments »

Divine Relatedness – Part 2

In part one we began our foray into ‘divine relatedness’ – i.e. being related to God, others and ourselves as He intended. We saw that God planted everything we needed within us for having perfect love relationships and looked at how we can nurture those endowments within ourselves so that we can extend this perfect gift of God’s love to others. Let’s continue:

The only way to gain guaranteed happiness is to contribute to the happiness of others – giving them what it is that you want for yourself. That gift can only come from your personal wellspring of love. To keep your wellspring overflowing, you must keep your heart clear of negative feelings and from the concomitant suffering. (That’s where your regular meditative examinations of your thought processes come in. No stinking thinking!)

We cultivate our love by freeing ourselves from attachment – from needing anyone to give us the love that we give to ourselves. Yet, when our love radiates outward, loving people will be drawn to us in droves.

When we experience that love, our response becomes one of infinite gratitude. Relationships only break down in the absence of grateful appreciation. It’s gratitude that brings the healing.

If you’re not experiencing the love, e.g. as in an abusive relationship, LEAVE! It’s far healthier to remove yourself from someone who chooses to wallow in the refuse of his or her making. If your partner tells you they love you but in the next moment they try to control you, disrespect you, or attempt to commit violence upon your person, that is not love. You never deserve to be mistreated in any way, shape or form.

Living alone is better that staying with your abuser, telling lies to yourself such as ‘They will get better,’ or worse ‘They will love me if I become a better person.’ If you stay with an abuser, it’s only because you have convinced yourself that you don’t deserve love. What will happen next is that your demons will come home to roost, making fertile ground for you to become an abuser as well.

Accept your abuser for who they are and GO! Be thankful for the lesson in that relationship and how it helped you grow. There’s plenty of love out there. You don’t have to settle for scraps. As you cast your love outward, love will seek you out.

True love relationships are authentic ‘mask-less’ relationships. Mutually applied love, compassion and understanding open the way for having the courage to be ourselves – to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a sign of ultimate trust, which no healthy relationship can survive without.

Still, even in the best of relationships there will be bumps. Are you perfect? Yes. Is your partner perfect? Yes. Are your behaviors perfect? What can I tell you? We are human after all. We make mistakes. Some pain will come. That’s life.

Most, if not all our wounds are perpetrated in relationship. Ironically, we must heal those same hurts within the realm of a healthy partnership – in a space where we can bare our souls (warts and all), our needs and our anguish, having them covered with love and acceptance.

Realize that even in the best of relationships, there will be conflict from time to time – times when you don’t feel love for your partner. You need to have the freedom to feel that, so that you can make a free-will choice to love them anyway, making the relationship all the more special. Anything else (i.e. conscripted love) is slavery.

In a healthy relationship, the partners look for ways to live with each other’s differences, constructing new ways to find clear solutions for the conflicts instead of running away. A conflict avoided is one doomed to repetition. Best solutions come in the form of those that work towards each other’s goals rather than those serving one who is obsessing over who is going to come out on top in a particular conflict.

Discord occurs because your partner (or you) has slipped back into their old unconscious ways. If you love him or her, you will allow yourself to suffer (a little bit) in order to help them move through their lapse. Mutual communication must ensue, each stating their perception of the situation without trying to correct one another.

Share the needs that each of you have in that moment (without judgment) and accept them. Follow by informing each other if you can meet those needs. If one partner cannot meet the other’s needs, the unfulfilled partner will either find a way to meet those needs in a way that is acceptable within the relationship, or they may choose to continue their journey through life without you. Let them go. It is the most loving thing you can do for the both of you.

Your partner may not be able to let you be you. They may be unwilling to let go of their expectations. And if they leave, it will create a true loss that must be grieved. Do not deny your feelings; affirm them so that you can move through them. Look to see if your partner had any valid complaints regarding your actions and address the root of them in yourself. If they did not, do not take ownership of them.

Acknowledge the contributions your partner did bring to you. See if you can give those things to yourself before going out on the hunt for someone else. Surround yourself with supportive people. After working through your grief, open yourself up to what’s next. If you shy away from subsequent relationships due to a fear of potential pain, you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.

When you do open yourself up to a new relationship, don’t get caught up in worrying over whether or not this person is ‘The One.’ Instead, leave the previous drama behind and focus on the way the new dance works. You will never experience the love of others if you do not take risks…

(Note: All of these aforementioned ‘relatedness’ issues should be worked out prior to any marital commitment should that be the type of relationship you are contemplating.)

More to come…
Goodnight and God bless.

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February 26 2016 | experiencing god's love | No Comments »

Divine Relatedness

We’ve spent a long time examining how most of us have taken on a life of unconscious living – brainwashed by unworkable ideas that have been handed down since Adam and Eve. We looked at the problem, what it costs us, and finally we’ve been engaged in how to return to the way God designed us to be and to live.

It begins with having love, acceptance and compassion for others and ourselves for having been submitted to the wiles of the adversary. It requires that we live in the present moment, leaving the past behind and forgetting about a future that hasn’t happened yet. We have to root out all forms of fear (including anger, jealousy and envy) and replacing them with the peace of God. We must recognize and acknowledge that God knows what He’s doing – that the way He made us is perfect and we don’t have to wear some mask to hide aspects of ourselves we (mistakenly) believed were unacceptable. Finally, we learned how to communicate with love.

This brings us to the exciting culmination, which is to just be you and offer up that same authentic self for relationship! After all, every single facet of our existence lives in relationship. Thus, it behooves us to have them be stellar.

God created us to be related – to Him, to ourselves and to each other. Our relationship with God is the foundation for our relatedness to everything and everyone. When we turn inwardly towards our Creator, we will finally understand who we are; and if we come from that place, we will attract others into relatedness with us.

Everything we’ve ever been looking for is within. Who we are is prefect and always will be. (Note: I’m not addressing the issue of ‘original sin.’ It’s a given that countless scholars have developed over the centuries and does assuredly required the saving grace of salvation, but that’s outside of this discussion.)

As God’s perfect creation, we have no reason to look outside of ourselves for love, approval or acceptance. We only need to give it to ourselves the way our Father does. In fact, we must direct love towards ourselves so that we can nurture our love and ourselves before we can give it away. The primary reason for relationship is to offer our love – the love that God gave us first.

Then we will be in a place where we can make contributions instead of only withdrawals.

It may be true that you missed out on healthy loving relationships in your past. However, you now know that everyone did the best they could with the tools that they had. So you can stop the blaming and forgive them for their unconsciousness as well as pardoning yourself for judging them.

Furthermore, God uses relationships for healing. We can provide the love and nurturing for ourselves that we did not receive, and then be open to let that love and nurturing flow into other relationships as well.

A loving relationship is one wherein we can admit our fears, take risks and have the freedom to fail – all within a space where retribution and abandonment are never given consideration. It takes a lifetime of practice to accept, know and love ourselves and others, yet if we can allow each other to be our true selves, it becomes a continual source of joy-filled discovery…

Let’s talk about the relationship itself. Healthy relationships form, take root and flourish only if they are founded upon a love that is freely given by both participants. Otherwise, all that you have is the experience of an emotional attachment. And, as we’ve seen countless times, that love must come from the love you have for yourself first. You can never find what you don’t already possess in your own heart. Thus, you must become what you seek.

The good news is that deep down, you already are that lovable loving person. You only have to let him or her come back to life.

You know when you’re not experiencing love. It’s when you feel that yearning for peace, joy, understanding and the loving touch of a human heart. It happens when you fall back into or continue in your old ways of being. When you are thinking and acting unconsciously, you are not being whom you really are. The only thing true about you is that you are perfect love. Anything else is a lie.

When you find yourself mired in your old spot, take that quagmire to your meditation to dissociate yourself from the old false beliefs about you that you have re-entertained. Ask your powerful questions: ‘Are these beliefs true? How am I robbing myself of my relationship with my perfect self? How have I been living my life? What kind of actions have I been taking in order to keep these beliefs in place?’

Acknowledge that you have experienced pain. Look to see if you helped create it and apply compassion.

Happiness is what happens when you experience peace, love and joy. Stay in the present moment and ask yourself repeatedly, ‘Are my thoughts and actions conducive to my having these?’ If not, replace them with those that are. Drop anything that is not connected to love. Be there for yourself. Ask God for the strength to never give up on you.

You are the only one who knows exactly the way you need to be loved. Love yourself in that way first. Having done that, you will be able to go ‘out there’ and have loving relationships with everybody else. You will bring your love, acceptance and compassionate understanding with you. It allows you to touch another person’s pain and realize that we’ve all had that same pain at one time or another. Your defenses will melt in the face of the newfound connected-ness that you will have with the human race. The word ‘enemy’ will no longer find a home in your vocabulary.

Once you’ve already filled yourself with love, you will have created an open space for others to choose whether to love you or not and it will not matter what choice it is that they make. If they choose to love you, you can co-create a new synergistic love relationship. If not, you won’t take it personal and will bless them inwardly with your love – wishing them the best life possible.

To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.

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February 20 2016 | experiencing god's love | No Comments »